Although you may not admit it as to if you have a relationship contract with your partner. Most people still love a good romance. You know, those intoxicating love stories that start with love at first sight and end with the “happily ever after.”
One way to work together to build a stronger relationship is to create a relationship contract.
Your first reaction to hearing that is probably “How utterly unromantic!”
But if you really take a closer look at the process and intention of this unique type of contract, you may rethink your response to know your answer.
What is a relationship contract?
A relationship contract is a completely informal agreement that’s based on an open and honest conversation between you and your partner.
It’s also an opportunity for each of you to discuss your expectations, values, and goals. And when you put them on paper, you have the opportunity to revisit them every year (or more often if you decide to) enabling you to make as-needed adjustments along the way.
A relationship contract isn’t meant to “fix” the other person, monitor each other’s behavior, or be used as evidence for blame
and as a result, to build a stronger, more healthy relationship with less conflict or misunderstanding.
Here are 5 key things you should be adding to your relationship contract.
1. A Statement of Purpose
This is a simple statement to express your shared vision, why you are creating this contract, and the desired results you hope to achieve.
This statement will keep you focused as you design the details.
2. Household responsibilities:
Lack of equity in this category has been at the root of conflict for many couples.
And, you can divide it up or alternate tasks however you both see fit.
3. Fun and leisure
Sometimes, couples have different preferences here. If you tend to be more introverted you may really value alone and want to stay quiet. If extroverted, counterpart may want to go out dancing or to meet friends for dinner and drinks. This is where compromise comes in.
So you both would have to know how to move with each other so no one will be lacking or seem unwanted.
4. Finances
This can be a tricky one, especially if you’re a saver and your partner is a spender. In contracts, you guys can decide if you would spend from both pocket or individual spending.
5. Intimacy and sex
Couples often feel uneasy and vulnerable talking about this topic, so your contract discussion can be the perfect time to address your needs in this area.
Maybe you want more affection and romance, whereas your partner wants more sex and variety. These adjustments may be easier than you think once you are made aware of them.
It’s important to keep in mind that a relationship contract is not a “cure-all” and issues are bound to arise from time to time.
The goal is not perfection, but rather an opportunity for open and ongoing communication and, ultimately, to create a stronger relationship!
Also, a contract is something you can revisit and adjust depending on what worked and what failed.
Give a relationship contract a try and see just how much it can improve your partnership.
Starry jaty
